Drama Queen - James 4:1-5
Pastor Tim Brown, Calvary Chapel Fremont, Sunday February 15, 2009
DRAMA QUEEN
James 4:1-5
A drama queen is notoriously self-centered/self-absorbed/often viewing friends and relatives as lesser beings assigned to take care of her personal needs.
3:18 peace is the goal. 4:1 drama is the reality – how get to 3:18?
WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF QUARRELS AND CONFLICTS AMONG YOU? Quarrel here is more than a verbal argument. In NT it describes a violent, physical clash. So, what’s the source, where does all the violence come from? Why so much drama? We know purpose of quarrels…
You have what is mine and I want it back. You have what I want and I will take it from you. You disrespected me and I want my respect. I want to impose my will on you.
We know the purpose, but what’s the source? Philosophers/social scientists have all had competing answers – economic inequities, class oppression, political injustice… The thought is: If we can change the human condition we can eliminate the wars/conflicts.
LORD OF THE FLIES (WILLIAM GOLDING, 1954) Utopian thinking/much philosophizing that people are basically good and unjust social conditions corrupt them. Put good people in an uncorrupted environment and they will create a just/virtuous society. Plane wreck on uninhabited tropical island/only boys under 12 survived/ descent into savagery. Source of conflict isn’t corrupt society.
IS NOT THE SOURCE YOUR PLEASURES THAT WAGE WAR IN YOUR MEMBERS? J - it is your lusts screaming for fulfillment. J - the source is not the human condition, it is the human being. Changing the condition of the human won’t change the being of the human. Changing the outside conditions won’t affect the inner being of man. You can change where/how man is, but you can’t change what/who man is.
The thought fueling conflict is: If I get what I want, I’ll be fulfilled. NO. No true fulfillment apart from relationship w/ God. If you get what you want you may be satisfied for a while, but w/o God you won’t be fulfilled. We have confused satisfaction w/ fulfillment.
How many have thought that if you made a certain income you would have all you desire and the pressure would be off? You are making more than ever before and you are stressed more than ever before. You have flat screen HD TV/new car/exciting vacation/ unreal prospects at work – the satisfaction has been real, but it’s been temporary. The satisfaction hasn’t translated into fulfillment.
J: You know what your problem is? It’s you. It’s not your mother/ father/environment/upbringing/economy/lack of opportunity/lack of democracy/presence of inequity/absence of justice – it’s you. It’s not your condition/circumstances, it’s your being/you. You are responsible for the lack of peace in your life. It’s not your income/ outgo/husband/ex-husband/wife/children/neighbors/in-laws - you
“Wait just a minute! If you have what I have/gone through what I’ve gone through/put up w/ what I’ve had to put up with/suffered what I’ve suffered, you wouldn’t say that.” There are people who have what you have/gone through what you’ve gone through/put up w/ what you’ve put up with/suffered what you’ve suffered and they have the joy of the Lord and the peace of Christ. J: problem is you.
J is big on each person taking responsibility for their own stuff. Cf. C1 – when you sin it is because you were carried away. Don’t blame God. If you are full of fight/spit/violence/self-pity, don’t point to your outer condition, point to your inner being.
YOU LUST AND DO NOT HAVE; SO YOU COMMIT MURDER. YOU ARE ENVIOUS AND CANNOT OBTAIN; SO YOU FIGHT AND QUARREL. You have needs screaming to be satisfied. So you satisfy them/still not fulfilled. This is what David did. There is an inner hunger that you cannot quench. You’re driven by demands you can’t satisfy 4 long. The peace you long for doesn’t come through outer satisfaction, but through inner fulfillment. Don’t confuse satisfaction w/ fulfillment.
YOU DO NOT HAVE BECAUSE YOU DO NOT ASK. You do not have because you are not turning to God/asking Him. Either because you know that it is something He wouldn’t give you anyway or because you don’t know that you can. Mt. 7:7-8
YOU ASK AND DO NOT RECEIVE, BECAUSE YOU ASK WITH WRONG MOTIVES, SO THAT YOU MAY SPEND IT ON YOUR PLEASURES. In J1 – you ask and don’t receive because you don’t ask in faith. Here, you ask and don’t receive because you don’t ask in holiness. Faith says: I’m leaning on God. Holiness says: I desire God.
Ps. 37:4 We turn this around and delight ourselves in the desires of our hearts. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, He purifies the desires of our hearts – our motives become different. I want to serve, not to be seen/acknowledged, but to be pleasing to the Lord – so it doesn’t matter how He uses me. My money isn’t a tool for my satisfaction, but a tool to serve Him. When we delight ourselves in the Lord we experience fulfillment in our being and not just a temporary satisfaction in our condition.
Ps. 106:15 Num. 11 Sometimes God will answer a carnal prayer so that He might teach us to fear Him. God gave them the quail and leanness of soul. You prayed/cried out for that husband –never the will of God for you. You got a husband – and a lot less. But now you are leaning on God like never before! You prayed/ cried to get out of that marriage/now single – and a lot less. There is leanness of soul. What you thought would satisfy you has left you empty.
YOU ADULTERESSES, DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT FRIENDSHIP WITH THE WORLD IS HOSTILITY TOWARD GOD? THEREFORE WHOEVER WISHES TO BE A FRIEND OF THE WORLD MAKES HIMSELF AN ENEMY OF GOD. What is the source of the wars w/in and w/o? Here it is – friendship w/ the world. WHAT IS THE WORLD? 1J2:15-17. “What are you doing tonight?” Lust/pride are coming over and we’re going to do something.” WHAT IS A FRIEND? One who helps me - my guard is down w/ you. It is hard for me to see flaws in my friends.
J: unless you adjust to 2 realities, you’ll have fighting and arguing the rest of your life. #1 The source is w/in you. #2 The world feeds the source.
J saw that there was much worldliness in the church and the world out of the church. Israel got out of Egypt in one night, but it took 40 years to get Egypt out of Israel. A decision to follow Jesus gets us out of the world, but discipleship gets the world out of us.
OR DO YOU THINK THAT THE SCRIPTURE SPEAKS TO NO PURPOSE: “HE JEALOUSLY DESIRES THE SPIRIT WHICH HE HAS MADE TO DWELL IN US”? Reference to 2nd commandment…
Drama Queen come to the King – no longer self centered/absorbed. Drama gives way to peace.
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DRAMA QUEEN
James 4:1-5
A drama queen is notoriously self-centered/self-absorbed/often viewing friends and relatives as lesser beings assigned to take care of her personal needs.
3:18 peace is the goal. 4:1 drama is the reality – how get to 3:18?
WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF QUARRELS AND CONFLICTS AMONG YOU? Quarrel here is more than a verbal argument. In NT it describes a violent, physical clash. So, what’s the source, where does all the violence come from? Why so much drama? We know purpose of quarrels…
You have what is mine and I want it back. You have what I want and I will take it from you. You disrespected me and I want my respect. I want to impose my will on you.
We know the purpose, but what’s the source? Philosophers/social scientists have all had competing answers – economic inequities, class oppression, political injustice… The thought is: If we can change the human condition we can eliminate the wars/conflicts.
LORD OF THE FLIES (WILLIAM GOLDING, 1954) Utopian thinking/much philosophizing that people are basically good and unjust social conditions corrupt them. Put good people in an uncorrupted environment and they will create a just/virtuous society. Plane wreck on uninhabited tropical island/only boys under 12 survived/ descent into savagery. Source of conflict isn’t corrupt society.
IS NOT THE SOURCE YOUR PLEASURES THAT WAGE WAR IN YOUR MEMBERS? J - it is your lusts screaming for fulfillment. J - the source is not the human condition, it is the human being. Changing the condition of the human won’t change the being of the human. Changing the outside conditions won’t affect the inner being of man. You can change where/how man is, but you can’t change what/who man is.
The thought fueling conflict is: If I get what I want, I’ll be fulfilled. NO. No true fulfillment apart from relationship w/ God. If you get what you want you may be satisfied for a while, but w/o God you won’t be fulfilled. We have confused satisfaction w/ fulfillment.
How many have thought that if you made a certain income you would have all you desire and the pressure would be off? You are making more than ever before and you are stressed more than ever before. You have flat screen HD TV/new car/exciting vacation/ unreal prospects at work – the satisfaction has been real, but it’s been temporary. The satisfaction hasn’t translated into fulfillment.
J: You know what your problem is? It’s you. It’s not your mother/ father/environment/upbringing/economy/lack of opportunity/lack of democracy/presence of inequity/absence of justice – it’s you. It’s not your condition/circumstances, it’s your being/you. You are responsible for the lack of peace in your life. It’s not your income/ outgo/husband/ex-husband/wife/children/neighbors/in-laws - you
“Wait just a minute! If you have what I have/gone through what I’ve gone through/put up w/ what I’ve had to put up with/suffered what I’ve suffered, you wouldn’t say that.” There are people who have what you have/gone through what you’ve gone through/put up w/ what you’ve put up with/suffered what you’ve suffered and they have the joy of the Lord and the peace of Christ. J: problem is you.
J is big on each person taking responsibility for their own stuff. Cf. C1 – when you sin it is because you were carried away. Don’t blame God. If you are full of fight/spit/violence/self-pity, don’t point to your outer condition, point to your inner being.
YOU LUST AND DO NOT HAVE; SO YOU COMMIT MURDER. YOU ARE ENVIOUS AND CANNOT OBTAIN; SO YOU FIGHT AND QUARREL. You have needs screaming to be satisfied. So you satisfy them/still not fulfilled. This is what David did. There is an inner hunger that you cannot quench. You’re driven by demands you can’t satisfy 4 long. The peace you long for doesn’t come through outer satisfaction, but through inner fulfillment. Don’t confuse satisfaction w/ fulfillment.
YOU DO NOT HAVE BECAUSE YOU DO NOT ASK. You do not have because you are not turning to God/asking Him. Either because you know that it is something He wouldn’t give you anyway or because you don’t know that you can. Mt. 7:7-8
YOU ASK AND DO NOT RECEIVE, BECAUSE YOU ASK WITH WRONG MOTIVES, SO THAT YOU MAY SPEND IT ON YOUR PLEASURES. In J1 – you ask and don’t receive because you don’t ask in faith. Here, you ask and don’t receive because you don’t ask in holiness. Faith says: I’m leaning on God. Holiness says: I desire God.
Ps. 37:4 We turn this around and delight ourselves in the desires of our hearts. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, He purifies the desires of our hearts – our motives become different. I want to serve, not to be seen/acknowledged, but to be pleasing to the Lord – so it doesn’t matter how He uses me. My money isn’t a tool for my satisfaction, but a tool to serve Him. When we delight ourselves in the Lord we experience fulfillment in our being and not just a temporary satisfaction in our condition.
Ps. 106:15 Num. 11 Sometimes God will answer a carnal prayer so that He might teach us to fear Him. God gave them the quail and leanness of soul. You prayed/cried out for that husband –never the will of God for you. You got a husband – and a lot less. But now you are leaning on God like never before! You prayed/ cried to get out of that marriage/now single – and a lot less. There is leanness of soul. What you thought would satisfy you has left you empty.
YOU ADULTERESSES, DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT FRIENDSHIP WITH THE WORLD IS HOSTILITY TOWARD GOD? THEREFORE WHOEVER WISHES TO BE A FRIEND OF THE WORLD MAKES HIMSELF AN ENEMY OF GOD. What is the source of the wars w/in and w/o? Here it is – friendship w/ the world. WHAT IS THE WORLD? 1J2:15-17. “What are you doing tonight?” Lust/pride are coming over and we’re going to do something.” WHAT IS A FRIEND? One who helps me - my guard is down w/ you. It is hard for me to see flaws in my friends.
J: unless you adjust to 2 realities, you’ll have fighting and arguing the rest of your life. #1 The source is w/in you. #2 The world feeds the source.
J saw that there was much worldliness in the church and the world out of the church. Israel got out of Egypt in one night, but it took 40 years to get Egypt out of Israel. A decision to follow Jesus gets us out of the world, but discipleship gets the world out of us.
OR DO YOU THINK THAT THE SCRIPTURE SPEAKS TO NO PURPOSE: “HE JEALOUSLY DESIRES THE SPIRIT WHICH HE HAS MADE TO DWELL IN US”? Reference to 2nd commandment…
Drama Queen come to the King – no longer self centered/absorbed. Drama gives way to peace.
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